A Streetcar Named Desire


It truly scares me, what I find in my mind when I stop. During meditation or long runs, layers of my mind begin to separate and I begin to see all of the fillers, the 'Umm's, Uh's and Like's of my mental speech.

In a seated meditation class I was in, we all became very quiet in the room and attempted to do the same mentally. We all found out afterward that quiet was not ours to be had just yet. We were asked to share what had come up while sitting. I raised my hand and was called on to speak. I told them that for a moment I believed myself to be still and then before I knew it was on my third or fourth round of singing "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back..." Unbelievable. Of all the things to haunt my thoughts.

I was reminded of this moment again this weekend. I went running. My second weekend run in a row up north where I ditched my music so I could relish the quiet remote sounds of the north. Again, I was taunted by jingles. They flooded my peace. Drowning the rustling of the wind in the trees. They were like a bad itch that I wanted to scratch. This non-sense gets louder and louder sometimes and that's when I know I need more down time, more time to spend running, practicing or sitting, in other words meditating. These activities help me take out these rascals one by one so that I can feel peace and quiet, straining the garbage from my mind so that I can discover it's treasures. It's as important to clean your thoughts as it is to clean anything else in your life. Declutter. Create space. Collect dust-bunnies. Rediscover past times. Find what is lost. Eliminate the old and replace with the new. 

It's a good thing I am not my thoughts because I'd be nothing but a broken record of radio jingles.

hoto Credit: http://vintage-radio.com.au/default.asp?t=54