Dear John: Chronicles of a breakup with Gluten & Dairy

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Gluten. It’s not me. It’s you. I have never liked you. From the beginning we have had a tumultuous relationship. No matter how good you look, you always cause me discomfort. Even a small dose of you tires me; you suck the life out of me. I know everyone loves you – I get it. You have excellent qualities. You’re so easy. We are at all of the same events and at every corner I turn, I find you. Initially, it was difficult to forget you, to see you with everyone else. Now I know better. You’re no good for me. You’re a sneaky bugger and I realize there will be times when you creep up on me but I can accept that. I shant be calling you ever again.

Dairy. My sweet, sweet dairy. If I said I didn’t love you I would be lying. A relationship with you is said to be adolescent – the kind we need in our youth to nurture ourselves. I have grown and have replaced you with super greens and whole foods. There are places in my life where you will remain irreplaceable as nothing compares. I must admit I have never enjoyed you when you behave like liquid but there are parts of you that are like an old soul, aged and sharp. I love that and think about it often. No, this isn’t the end for us. I know we’ll find each other again. There are some things that are just not the same without you. I promise, I will call you. I just need some time.